Silent Sin in a Slow Death

Recently, I released a video that I told my testimony in. No one has actually said anything but I know reactions I get from my testimony, because I’ve seen them when talking to Christians in person. I say Christians, because those in the world, as long as the sexual addiction has not reached the extreme levels, accepts the addiction and rarely shuns those it it. Yet the reaction of the Christians is typically silent, sometimes a look of horror or shame from the listener, then they pretty much leave me alone after that.

In my testimony, I talked of an alcohol addiction, cigarette addiction, covetous addiction, and a pornography (or sexual) addiction. In most cases, people can over look all these addictions but one.

The sexual addiction is the most perverse addiction one can have: it’s also the most judged. Typically, people (whether in the world or in the church) will want to help the alcoholic, the smoker, the anger troubled, and so forth; but more times than not, people typically treat the sexual addict in a manner of shame.

The reactions of most people, towards the sexual addict, is one to the point that the sexual addict will continue to hide an already embarrassing addiction, never to receive any help in recovering from this addiction.

Unlike all other addictions, the sexual addiction is the most potent, because it involves memory. While the smoker smokes to calm them down, or their lungs are addicted to the nicotine; or, the drinker is looking to forget their problems and feel a high; the sexual addict is looking for attention (not good attention I admit) but when one watches, or acts out, sexual addictions, the sight, sound, smell, touch, etc is seared in their mind. The one who is ashamed of his addiction, feel bad shortly after the act they committed; but, unlike someone who fell of the wagon and got drunk, the sexual addict can not go to anyone after they messed up. In fact, they can’t go to anyone even before they mess up.

It’s unfortunate that the church has come to such a judgement of those with the sexual addiction that, those with the addiction, can not even go to a church member and say, “I need help!, I’m having these memories and flash backs of the movie (or act) that I done.”

For years we have remained silent about the problem. Yes, there are organizations that are fighting the porn industry: our warfare is not carnal but spiritual (2 Cor 10:4); so, the answer isn’t in legally shutting down the industry, it’s in bringing people to Christ; and helping those in need to stop feeding the industry. Yet, how can we help those in need if we shame them into silence.

What has silence brought us? Has shaming those wanting help done anything to help the situation or those in need?

In the last study I seen, there are 24,644,172 pornography websites on the internet; with 100,000 of them offering child porn. Every second, there are 28,258 users on porn sites, and over 3,000 dollars spent. 42.7% of internet users view porn. 40 million Americans are regular viewers of porn. A new porn video is created every 39 minutes. 70% of men age 18-24 visit porn sites each month. Of the users of porn, 2/3 are men and 1/3 women. 2.5 billion pornographic emails are sent out every day, and 25% of all search engine request are for porn; that’s 68 million per day.35% of all internet downloads are pornographic; which accounts for 1.5 billion downloads. And, there are 116,000 searches for child porn everyday.

I’m sure that last statistic really upset some people. Yet, like drugs, sexual addictions grow in severity. When someone is having problems and they may start to drink, that drinking may move into alcoholism, then pot use, then crack or meth, etc. A sexual addiction will start with a magazine, then movie. These images start to invade the mind, then they see themselves in these situations. A touch of a girl or harmless wink will cause them to fantasize. Soon, what started as visual, they look to play out what they’ve seen. Sometimes it’s cheating on their wife (if they are married) or moving into a swinging lifestyle. Like drugs, each move satisfies for a while, then they need to up the game a little. After a while, especially if they can’t get their fix any other way, they move to rape or child molestation. The addiction accelerates because they can’t open up to anyone. If an addict, who has reached a high level of drugs, comes to a friend and says, “I’ve been hooked on meth, coke, crack, for a while and want out!”, most friends would see what could be done to help. If an addict, who has reached a high level of sexual addiction, comes to a friend and says, “I’ve been hooked to porn for a while, I’ve cheated on my wife and now child porn is starting to interest me, I want out!”, typically, that “friend” would shun them and kick them to the curb. This is not helping because people feel they have NO ONE to come to.

When I go over the next statistics, you will see one reason why I feel that those who have conquered this addiction, need to be encouraged to come out; so it can help others with the problem.

The statistics of sexual addictions among regular church going, professing Christians are:

Of promise keepers, 53% viewed pornography in the last week.
47% of Christians say that pornography is a problem in the home.
50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust, and 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; while,
20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis. More than 80 percent of women who have this addiction take it offline,' ". According to research,”Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs”. And, 51% of pastors say cyberporn is a possible temptation; 37% say it is a current struggle; and, 4 in 10 pastors have visited a porn site while being a pastor.

Has silence helped? Scripture makes it clear that we can not continue in these sins and make it to Glory. Many of these people came from a sexual issue before coming into the church. The images are imbedded in their minds and it tries to draw them back. The fact that we remain silent about the issue, causes people to stay IN their sin; which is spiritually unhealthy. So in essence, because of the churches past actions on the subject, and even current actions, those in the church are causing people who WANT help, to continue in a state that will send them to hell.

Y’shua said to remove those who will not take correction (Matt 18:15-17). In a letter to the Corinthians Paul said to remove those who are sexually immoral. He says not to even eat with these along with those who are covetous, idolater, partier, drunkard, or an extortioner (1 Cor 5:6-13). This is not talking about those who WANT help, but those who choose to continue in the sin. We are to gently restore those who are truly sorry and want to repent (Gal 6:1); yet those who refuse the correction are to be removed because their sin will cause sin to spread in the body.

It’s time the church changes. Just because a person has these memories they’re struggling with, does not mean they want to act upon those memories. Most of them want to cry out, but they are scared of the repercussions. It’s time to stop shunning those who once were, or who are looking for help in this horrible addiction.